A Self Date Guide to build a healthy relationship with your body and food
Building a strong and healthy relationship with your body and food can be vague. This blog uses a dating model to develop a healthy relationship with food and your body.
Some might be confused about how a healthy relationship with your food and body relates to self-date. One day in the clinic, after discussing ways to build a healthy relationship with food and body with a client, she responded, “it is so hilarious that we are talking about this in a clinic because it sounds like you want me to have a relationship with myself“. And she was spot on! Some of the most effective ways to build healthy relationships with food and the body are to engage in self-love activities. How do we find love in life? Through dating - to understand, be empathetic and show care to the person (yourself).
Why is a healthy relationship with food and body important?
A healthy relationship with food and the body is about food freedom and body positivity. It is not asking you to start the worst possible diet and do nothing to improve your health. It is about having confidence in the food you eat and the body you are in. It is about breaking the false belief that you must suffer to get what you want. It is about achieving your health goals happily.
Unfortunately, many health and fitness companies and influencers use tactics that promote the opposite when selling products and services.
An unhealthy relationship with food and the body is associated with
Disordered eating patterns, including restrictive, avoidance and binging behaviours
Yoyo dieting
Low self-esteem
Increased risk of developing or worsening mental illness (depression, anxiety)
Decreased compliance with lifestyle and dietary intervention
All these will stop you from achieving your goal and prevent you from being happy.
What are the signs of a potential unhealthy relationship with food and body?
Feeling guilty or ashamed after consuming “forbidden food”
Feeling uncomfortable or avoiding eating in front of others, especially if you are eating with someone who has a “healthy diet” or a “perfect body”
Classifying foods as “good”, “bad”, “clean” and “junk”
Restricting amount, type and timing of food intake without any medical reason
Meticulously tracking all food and drinks or focusing solely on the number sides of food (macro, calorie, micronutrient content)
Dropping in and out of popular diets
Being fearful towards most of the food that is outside your diet
Not eating some foods unless you are convinced it serves a benefit to you
Engaging in compensatory behaviours if you have consumed or will be consuming food that you think is unhealthy
Continuing to eat even if you are uncomfortably full
Feeling stressed when reading this blog
Believing that all of the above is normal, and there is nothing you can do to change it (which is NOT TRUE!!!!)
If you ticked any of these boxes, building a stronger relationship with your food and body can likely help you be happier.
A self-date guide
Review your relationship with food, body and yourself
Like in love life, reflecting on our current state gives us more direction. We all have hidden rules or feelings about food, our bodies and ourselves. Some of them are implanted by external messages. These internalised messages are the ones we want to pick out through review.
A great way to find these hidden feelings/rules is to ask ourselves - “Why do I have this food rule (e.g. avoiding a particular food)?”, “Why do I not like (this part of) my body?” Is it because someone told you it is unhealthy? Are you scared that it will make you fat? Is it because you have heard thin=health=beauty? Just noticing and acknowledging your hidden feelings and rules and their causes can already set you up for success.
Set up your dating environment
When planning a date, we tend to pick somewhere where we can be confident about ourselves with minimal distraction. The environment of self-date is your immediate surroundings - friends, family, and social media. You can talk to your trusted friends and family about improving your relationship with food, body and yourself. If they really love you, they would want you to love yourself too! For social media, unfollow the accounts that teach you how to lose 10kg in 2 weeks, or convey you to follow trending diets/their own strict routine, etc. Instead, follow #foodfreedom and #bodypositive influencers instead, such as @nudenutritionist (Lyndi Cohen), @bodyimagemovement (Taryn Brumfitt) @BodyMattersAU @glennmackintosh and many more!!
Picking date activities
We are finally going on self-dates! To do so, pick an activity where you can enjoy, appreciate or explore your body and different foods. It can be trying out the restaurant you always wanted to go to, trying out an interesting recipe (e.g. our Timeless Recipes), hiking to a place with a gorgeous view, attending a yoga class that seems so fun, etc. These date activities are great for appreciating food and discovering what your body is capable of.
It might be scary at first for someone who lacks confidence in themselves, but the best thing about self-date is that you can do it anywhere and anytime - at home, in a restaurant, in a private location, in a group class, etc. Are you scared of doing some of the activities alone? Do double/triple/quadruple dates!
Communication
Without a doubt, communication is the key to a successful relationship, and it is the same when improving the relationship with food and body. Two exercises that help are:
Instead of classifying foods as “good”, “bad”, “healthy”, “unhealthy”, try to describe the flavours, texture and appearance of the food, and what you like or do not like about it
Appreciate what your body can do and what your body can potentially do!
Empathetic Acts
Empathy is vital to making the person you are dating feel connected and cared for. It can be hard to suddenly be empathetic to ourselves. A helpful exercise is to write a diary - write down a statement about one of your imperfections, then reply in the way you would give to your loved one or your dearest friend.
Support network - #FoodFreedom and #BodyPositive health professionals
Sometimes it is hard to do it on your own, as you might be confused, feel lost or doubt yourself in the process. Working with #FoodFreedom and #BodyPositive health professionals, especially psychologists and dietitians, can help you find the direction and sustain the momentum. Dietitians can help identify false beliefs in food and nutrition, provide correct food and nutrition knowledge, build a flexible and sustainable eating pattern, and empower you to achieve your health goals.
We encourage you to pick up at least one of the above actions and start to practise from today. To build a solid relationship with food and your body, date yourself regularly, just like in a relationship. We care about your long-term wellbeing at Timeless Dietetics so we promote positive body love and food freedom. If you want to establish a diet that works for your body, mind and goal through the support of a dietitian, book a session with our dietitian.
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